"Cause I'm a Blonde.. yeah yeah yeah"

.. in my best Miss Julie Brown voice. (If you've never seen "Earth Girls Are Easy".. you must!)

So here are the pics of the new 'do. The first one is me and the fabulous Colleen. I had a late appt on Wednesday night after work. It was great because we were the only ones in the salon (along with Chris and Colleen's sister-in-law) and we had lots of time to chat about life post-WLS while my hair was processing. Colleen's 3 years out .. she shared with me that she still has food issues and body-image issues, and that it's still easy to make a miscalculation about food (and get sick) even after 3 years. Although I have the wonderful support of my Sassy Fatty Sisters out on the 'net, there's nothing like having someone in the flesh to talk to about this stuff.

Here are some pics that I took today after styling the 'do. I want to go bigger! I think I need more product.. LOL

It's All About the Benjamins, Baby..

.. in the immortal words of Puff Daddy and Lil Kim..

So I've lost 101 lbs since surgery and 125 from my highest weight. It's a really cool feeling, and yet those numbers make me cringe a little. "You've lost HOW much weight?''.. as in "You were HOW fat?" I've had a lot of questions recently about how much more I want to lose. When I say about 40 lbs, I get the "oh no.. that's way too much" reaction. But I don't think it is. I think the problem is that noone has ever seen me that thin.. they've hardly gotten used to me at this size and the thought of me being smaller is somehow disconcerting. For example, yesterday I went to my niece Sierra's 7th birthday party and saw lots of friends and family. My sister's best friend gave me lots of compliments and asked what size I was wearing now. When I told her that I was starting to wear a 12, the expression on her face changed. "Oh.. that's what I wear." And? Is it somehow threatening that the former fat girl is the same size as you.. and will be getting smaller? I just don't know what to say in situations like that. I can take a compliment just fine.. I've learned to smile and say thank you and mean it. But I just don't want to discuss my body with people anymore. I just want people to see the new me and adjust.. like I'm adjusting.

To blonde or not to blonde

I have an appt with Colleen, my lovely post-op hairstylist, next Wednesday.. I'm so excited! I love getting my hair done.. it's like a chance to change identities. In the past year, I've been a dark brunette, a redhead, and a strawberry-blonde. And now - I want to go full-on glamarama blonde! Colleen wants to style me after Kelly Carlson (Kimber of Nip/Tuck). She's so gorgeous and I love her hair. Here are a few pics of Kelly - what do you think?

Month nine in the life of the future pin-up girl

Wow - we have 18 members in our webring now! That's so exciting! My blog turned a year old back on June 2 - I can hardly believe it's been a year now. My life is just so amazingly different.

The scale isn't budging for me right now - but I'm in shrink mode again. This happens every 6 weeks or so .. the scale will bounce around.. 2 lbs back and forth.. and then I end up losing a pants size. This weekend I went shopping (finally!) and I bought SIZE 12 JEANS!!! I came out of the dressing room at the Gap grinning like a fool.. it was great! And - I've lost a shoe size too. I bought a new pair of Adidas running shoes in a 9 - I've always worn a 10. I also bought a matching workout outfit to match the shoes. Chris bought new basketball gear and a really cool white Nike ball - we're going to start playing at the courts around the corner from our apartment. I know nothing about basketball but it'll just be fun running around with him and spending time together.

I've noticed something interesting lately. I don't recognize my reflection in windows or mirrors when I'm out in public. I sometimes walk by a door or window and have to do a double-take because I'm thinking "that can't possibly be me". I remember reading Dagny's blog, when she would talk about this phenomenon, and I would think "no way - how could you not recognize yourself? The weight doesn't come of THAT fast." Well, you know what? It does. I've lost 98 lbs in 9 months. And that's a slow loss, compared to some other WLS'ers. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.

A little change of plans

Well, I didn't make it out to Minneapolis. I'm going to reschedule some time after Katrina's baby (who I understand will be named Loren Alexander!) arrives. There was just too much going on out here for me to leave the state and feel good about it.

So - I decided to stay home. It turned out to be a good decision for me - I needed some time to chill and de-stress after everything that happened last week. Saturday morning I got up early and went to Curves. Then I came home and did all of the laundry and housecleaning that I had been procrastinating about. Oh - and I went for a manicure and pedicure too! Saturday evening, Chris' classmate Josephine, who he's tutoring, came over. It's always exciting when Jossy comes over. She's been deaf since birth and since neither of us sign, it's kinda like a long evening of Charades - there's a lot of smiling, pointing and note-writing. Jossy has been teaching Chris some sign language... he's getting better and better at it. It's very sweet the way that he's befriended Jossy. They met in the bookstore, where Chris works. And he had been noticing that a lot of the other students didn't attempt to talk to her, just because of her disability. So they got to know each other and have become good friends. I'm so lucky to have such a good-hearted man in my life!

Sunday I really just chilled. I watched the NBA finals. We barbecued. He worked on his project and I read. It was nice. I slept peacefully and woke up refreshed and ready to tackle this week. Tonight I'm headed to Curves again.. ready to keep working hard and get to that next Big Milestone!

Healing slowly

Thanks for all of the kind words and comments to my last post. I'm slowly beginning to process everything that happened last weekend. I found myself falling into depression and I kept having feelings of panic and worry for my friends and family, bordering on paranoia. It wasn't healthy for me at all and I know that Lloyd wouldn't want us all to live our lives in fear, so I'm trying really hard to get back into a positive mind space. I'm flying out to Minneapolis on Saturday to see my friend Katrina, the little prego-mama who is about to pop any day now! It will be really good to get away for a few days and immerse myself in all of the happiness going on around Katrina and her husband Steve.

I thought I'd share a couple of yummy hot-weather recipes that I found yesterday, courtesy of Hungry Girl - enjoy and I'll chat with you all when I get back from Minneapolis!

Tropical Treat Sorbet

(entire recipe: approx. 115 calories, <0.5g>

So simple...so cool...soooo delicious!

Ingredients:2 servings Crystal Light Sunrise Classic Orange drink mix (1 On The Go packet or 1/4 of an 8-serving tub); 1 cup mango chunks (fresh or frozen)

Directions:

Dissolve Crystal Light into a just FOUR ounces (a half-cup) of cold water; stir well. If using frozen mango, run under cool water for several minutes to thaw, so it blends more easily. In a blender, puree mango and Crystal Light mixture until just blended. Pour into a dish, cover, and place in freezer until nearly solid (several hours). If freezing overnight, thaw slightly by microwaving for 40 seconds or allowing it to sit out for about 10 minutes before enjoying.

Strawberry Lemonade Fruit Slushie!

(entire Slushie: 40 calories, 0g fat, 31mg sodium, 9g carbs, 1.5g fiber, 4g sugars, 0.5g protein = 1 Point)

A refreshing and fruity icy treat for YOU!

Ingredients: 2 tbsp. lemon juice 1/2 cup whole strawberries (with stems removed) 4 oz. water 2 oz. Torani Sugar Free Strawberry Syrup 1 cup ice cubes 2 packets Splenda

Directions:

Place all ingredients in a blender and blend on the highest speed for one minute. Pour and enjoy! Serves 1.

Heartbroken

I usually try to keep this blog positive and upbeat but today I need to share something with you that is tragic and sad. Last night my Dad's best friend was shot and killed in a home invasion robbery. Just by chance, I happened to be in town visiting the family. I was with my Dad when we went to the crime scene... I was with him as we were escorted to the Sheriff's Office so that he could make a statement and find out what had happened.. and I was by his side at the hospital when they finally told us that Lloyd had died. Lloyd was such a beautiful soul - the kind of guy that would give you the shirt right off of his back. A big teddy-bear kind of a guy with a really kind heart. He and my Dad met at a time in their lives when they both needed a friend - they were both diabetics, trying to hold onto their health.. making the best of lives that have been filled with pleasures and disappointments. They both had shiny new Harleys that they would ride around together, despite the aches and pains.. popping in to see children and grandchildren and friends. Two aging Easy Riders enjoying the feeling of freedom and the wind on their faces. My heart just aches knowing that some motherfucker stole Lloyd away from us, not thinking about how much he meant to those of us that loved him.

I hope you're on one hell of a fantastic ride now, Big Guy. We're really going to miss you.