Becoming the Pin-Up Girl

I'm on a journey from obesity to health.. and I'm hoping to reveal my inner Pin-Up Girl along the way ;-)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Just breathe

It was confirmed this morning that I have sleep apnea. Yippee..?? I know I should be happy to have the diagnosis because it should pretty much seal the deal with my insurance company, but I left the appointment feeling really down. I let Chris come to the appointment with me, which I don't think was a good idea. Not that he doesn't know that I snore.. lol.. I just ended up feeling very vulnerable and even a little ashamed after the appt. It wasn't exactly wonderful learning that my fat makes me stop breathing an average of 78 times an HOUR!! And now they want me to wear a fucking mask to bed every night.. yeah, that's sexy!

I always do this.. I feel sorry for myself and beat myself up for an hour or two and then I process whatever is going on and I move on from it. I'll be ok. This will all be ok. Ultimately, I will have WLS to improve my health. WLS will vastly improve (or cure) my sleep apnea and PCOS symptoms, and it will keep me from becoming a diabetic like my father and my aunts who are all suffering tremendously. I'm very very fortunate to have this opportunity now, while I'm only 32. I will use the tool to change my life, for myself and my partner and the people who love and care about me. For now, I need to just breathe.


Blogger Jen, Former Fat One said...

As soon as you have your surgery and start losing weight, you probably won't need the mask. I used my CPAP machine all of 3 weeks pre-op and just TWICE post-op because I could never get rid of the thing.

4:32 AM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Yes, in this crazy bizarro world of evil insurance companies, girl you've gotten GOOD NEWS! You've been handed a GIFT. Dig in your heels and fight 'em hard now and YOU WILL GET IT!

7:48 AM  
Blogger Sally Rand said...


You have your mind in the right place. And after reading your blog I can tell you are completely ready to change you life. That's the key.

You can do this.

My RP1 has s.a. and I suffered for years with pcos issues. Never a true diagnosis, but so much misery from the symptoms. Even though it sucks, each ailment/condition you have that related to m.o. is a plus on your side.

And your'e right. You are young and ready. Plus you are really pretty and that's just going to be enhanced as the lbs. slide off.

:) KT

2:59 PM  
Blogger SusanInCali said...

I had mild/moderate sleep apnea and didn't have to get a CPAP since I was going to have surgery. I know someone who is VERY skinny and he has sleep apnea. Don't let this stress you out. Once you start losing weight, you will feel much better and not have to use a CPAP.
As Dagny said, this is another "good" diagnosis for your insurance approval for WLS.
Hang in there. You will be a Sassy Fatty Loser in no time!

4:01 AM  

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