Becoming the Pin-Up Girl

I'm on a journey from obesity to health.. and I'm hoping to reveal my inner Pin-Up Girl along the way ;-)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Some whine with my cheese..burger

I'm finding myself spending a ridiculous amount of time fantasizing about what life will be like after WLS. Like time that I should be working.. oops. I'm using every spare minute reading blogs and looking at hundreds of before-and-after pics (OH has to be good for something, right?) and going through my closet to look at all of the clothes that I'll be able to wear again and I'm even looking at obese people on the train and thinking about WLS and how it could help them too. It's bordering on obsessive. What it boils down to is.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF BEING FAT!!! I'm ready for this shit to be over. I nearly injured myself trying on a pair of jeans that fit me fine about 2 months ago. WTF?!? And I'd love to endulge in all the super decadent stuff that I'll soon (hopefully) be giving up.. the "Farewell to Food" tour, but I'm deathly afraid that I'll gain more weight and then they won't approve me for WLS and I'll be trapped in this puffy jacket hell forever.

Oh - and I had to read my PCP's nurse today.. after my THIRD call this week asking whether he had sent off for the referral for my sleep study. She told me he hadn't gotten to it yet because he's been on vacation. Somehow that's my problem.. even though I called 3 times last week to ask the dr. on call to fill out the fucking form.

Ok - ((breathe) - here's some good news. Psychiatrist called me this week and let me know he got my insurance auth and could set up an appt for me. I'm gonna try to meet with the nutritionist the same day and knock it all out at once. Maybe that will make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Oh - and Diana emailed me to tell me that she has a swimsuit for me. She didn't want to me to keep trippin on mine not fitting, and not going to the aquaaerobics class at the gym. So I guess I have no excuse now, huh?

3 Comments:

Blogger TheBombadier said...

I am in the same boat as you as a pre-op...all I think about is life post-WLS--I feel like I am going crazy sometimes, fantasizing and idealizing a life for myself that, while it may be better than the life I lead now, will no doubt disappoint me. I try to focus on the fun things, like how many more stores I will be able to shop in or how much fun doing yoga again will be, but the only tangible things I can formulate this fantasy on are the stupid before and after pics from OH and others' experiences with WLS...I want to get this damn thing over with and get started with my life!

7:23 AM  
Blogger SusanInCali said...

I have an entire spare bedroom full of clothes I can't wait to wear again! I have been on OH for 2 years and just now have a surgery date of July 28! I should have had surgery last summer but let life get in the way. I am not having any last meal syndromes YET. Too much other shit going on.

Welcome to the Sassy Fatty Webring!
Susan
(I lived in Fremont for 5 years)

7:35 AM  
Blogger Mark said...

Hello and welcome my Sassy Fatty Sister! Pre op, I was also completely obsessed with OH. Went there several times a day. Got alot of info, but more from my other sisters! Getting kind of disgusted with all the other drama that goes on over there! I'm lucky to have two of em in my zipcode! You are smart to avoid last meal syndrome. I lived in San Francisco for a few years. I miss it terribly. San Leandro is East Bay? I am an avid pin up collector. I have an extensive collection of original Vargas gatefolds from Esquire, and a lot of Elvgrens, who I actually prefer. Looking forward to more posts!
Mark, aka Big Fat Homo

9:21 AM  

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